Makeup & Coffee Help Social Connection

There are two topics that I have been wanting to write about for a while. I am a Beauty Advisor for Ulta Beauty and have developed a love for cosmetics. I am by no means a master makeup artist, but there are some tricks I have learned, and more than that, there are some cultural things I have learned that I would love to share. This ties into the other topic, coffee. I started drinking coffee when I was working on my Master’s degree. At that time, it was all about the caffeine and the energy boost. As I have grown and matured, I have learned about the social and cultural value of this beverage.

Social connection is an incredibly powerful motivator and bonding force in our society. People seek out ways to belong and to connect for many different reasons, but the truth is that we all have a need to belong. I know that a large part of why I write is to belong. When I get up in the morning, I almost always take the time to put my face together and make myself beautiful because I want to feel like I belong to a larger world of professional writers. I have an underlying desire and hope that I will have an opportunity to connect and interact with this community or to connect with my audience of readers. As I have spoken with other professionals in the field, I have found this to be a common trend.

As I interact with my guests at Ulta Beauty, I have found that the greatest service I can provide my customers long before I help them find the best foundation or learn the best way to build the perfect makeup combination for a look, is to help them find a comfort level within their skin so that whatever the situation, they feel as if they belong. If nowhere else, I need them to know they belong in our store. Ideally, I want them to walk out of the store with the tools to help them find joy so that they can feel like they belong anywhere. That is the big secret about cosmetics. Before you need to worry about all of the fancy shades, highlighters, and blushes, you need to find joy and comfort with yourself. I start with skin care and just becoming comfortable with looking at yourself. Once you find the joy of playing, the rest is a lot easier. It is about joy and fun.

We all play with makeup because it is fun and because we want to look good when we are out being social. This brings me to coffee. People drink coffee at two times, when they are quiet, like in the morning, and when they are social with friends.  I contend both of these are about joy and social connection. Starting in the morning, this is truly a moment of interpersonal communion and joy. We undersell how much we need to connect with ourselves. Too often, we are rushing off to please the rest of the world. Those quiet morning cups of coffee are perhaps the most important social gatherings we ever have. I often take a moment in the morning to make a pot of espresso and have a cup by myself. Those are some of the most important social gatherings I have all day. Those conversations set up my day for success. They give me time to talk through all of my plans, my joys, my successes, and my worries, so that as I enter into the day, I am fully present for the encounters in which I may engage.

This morning cup leads us to the coffee shop later that day, where we gather with friends, loved ones, colleagues, and confidants. That coffee shop is where we have our most sacred social gatherings. That is where our makeup truly shines, whether it is just a light skincare treatment or a full makeover. That coffee shop is what we have been waiting for. Live it up, connect, enjoy. You belong.

So, I bring to you these two topics: coffee and makeup. You may ask what do they have to do with writing. After all, this is a website that belongs to a writer. Well, I would argue that we all need perspective, joy, and belonging. We all need grounding and a sense of social centering. Where we find these things and how we apply these things is what makes our lives relevant. For me, I take my view of social centering and work it into my prose, my characters, and my life. My work is full of love, romance, and trauma. This is drawn from my life, my encounters, and my perspective of the world. So, the more I belong, the more social I am, the more beautiful and joyful my view of the world is, the better my writing will be. So, makeup and coffee help social connections. I believe they help us all find ways to belong.